A writer’s nightmare is being unable to express his feelings and thoughts. Reasons for it may be many, from lack of words to confusions to Political intervention or lack of freedom. But then there is a writer sitting in every mind, which feels and reacts in form of emotions. There are certain things that are beyond my understanding and I am unclear of how to express them. I have always loved to experiment with life, sometimes openly and sometimes secretly but every time I have realised that I end up where I started, perhaps that’s why they call it a vicious circle.
And then I recollect the preaching of the Dharma, perhaps our ancestors knew that our mind is prone to wandering and hence we need to restrict it to daily duties where life goes on similarly for everyone with some drifting within the confined limits. But then one ends up being so bookish and less adventurous. So on either ways –Experimental or duty oriented, you end up at the same point, either after following a circle or without even moving a bit. While writings become difficult, paintings on the other hand has always made the complicated remain complicated and yet served the purpose of letting out. But it’s also interesting to notice how writings and paintings or hobbies get so influenced by new experiences, new friendships and thoughts. If you are unable to follow this, don’t worry, so can't I.
I have had a long day. After giving my scooter for servicing I had my haircut. At the saloon, I heard the news of veteran Kannada actor Vishnuvardhan’s death. The barber became sentimental as the FM played “Nooru Ondu Nenapu” and he told how touched he was by this bad news; the other barber said he had wept uncontrollably at Dr Rajkumar’s death and I sat there touched by how the celebrities touch us common men and also wondering if the barber would quickly finish off my haircut; made two waste trips to Jayanagar only to find shops closed, buildings with broken glass panes which made me realize how stupid sometimes people become in trying to display their ego by hiding their act behind fake reasons such as “mark of respect”.
If true respect has to be shown to a person you admire, mourn peacefully.
Its almost 11 and I have seen many movies today of which one I would like to mention is “Rachel getting Married”; Story about a girl returning from a re-habilitation center to her broken family, during the occasion of her sister’s wedding to realize how each one has suffered from one tragic moment of their life – their little brother’s death. Very nicely told but could not help noticing close resemblance to Mira Nair’s “Monsoon Wedding” theme and treatment.
Few other movies that I watched recently – “The wrestler” which made me sad at the facts but at the same time the movie was pathetically slow. “Miss Pettigrew lives for a day” is a beautifully made film but with a predictable story line. “Burn after Reading” is a black comedy and is a must watch with unexpected storyline with several twists. “An Unfinished Life” is a simple story about relationships and worth watching for Robert Redford and Morgan freeman.
And as I realize this would be my last post for the year, it’s wonderful to remember 2009 as a great year for some very special memories, great beginnings, new hobbies and lots of travels.
Happy New Year 2010!!!
Ajeya it is that time of the year when all of us get a little of this feeling, can't put it in words :D
ReplyDeleteWish you and your family a very happy 2010.
Its a cycle..not always vicious though .take care and have a great 2010
ReplyDeleteGood introspection! Wishing you a very happy new year!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this post, Ajeya! It is a good time to reflect on the past and ponder the future. And I agree about sometimes getting lost in the tricky process it takes to express your feelings through writing...
ReplyDeleteYour movie list includes all I've seen except Miss Pettigrew. Burn After Reading...bizarre but I loved it!
Happy New Year to you, Ajeya!
Great post Ajeya.
ReplyDeleteI need to check up on some of the titles you listed there, and I also recommend "The Shankshaw Redemption" as another good movie depicting the various traits that you mentioned in the post. Hope you had a great New Years, and wish you a prosperous and safe 2k10!
I agree with Edmund on the movie. It happens with us some time or the other.
ReplyDeleteWish you and your family a very happy 2010.
All.. Thanks a lot...hope you had a wonderful new year celebration
ReplyDeleteBelated Happy New Year to you bro. Sorry been kinda held up. Coudln't follow your blog. Write more of these things bro. You are good at it. There's a philosopher inside there waiting to come out. As a painting/ piece of prose. Let it out. And share it with all of us here so that we may relish it. :)
ReplyDeleteAjai - Thanks :-) I wish you a wonderful year ahead Bro
ReplyDeleteIt's not always 'vicious'..experimenting is, indeed, adventurous.
ReplyDeleteexcellent post